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The Reflection

Don’t Even Get Me Started: Fingers aren’t always our friends

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Hello everyone and welcome to Zach Zahrt’s “Don’t Get Me Started,” where I use a random word generator to select a topic.

I then proceed with this topic, describing/ranting everything about it that really “grinds my gears.”

Random Topic: fingers

My-oh-my, don’t you dare get me started on fingers.  

Fact: of all the human appendages there is none worse than the finger.  More like weirdly shaped sticks, clumsily thrown onto the end of a wrist. Humans like to think themselves so superior to other earthly inhabitants specifically because they possess these 10 worm-like protrusions that connect to a palm via slightly larger bone protrusions (A.K.A knuckles). Speaking of knuckles, fingers are responsible for me asking the confounding question of myself every day, “how many knuckles do I really have?”

Do the finger joints count as knuckles or are they considered lower on the hierarchy of human motor functions?

Graphic by Caidyn Hutchinson

Of all the bacteria ridden crevices that the human anatomy poses, fingernails might just be the filthiest. Underneath these shells (fingernails) is a breeding ground for not only bacteria, but fungi and yeast as well. This sprawling community of potential diseases is made even worse, however, when the anatomical owners decide (for a reason that alludes me) to put their appendages into their oral cavity.

Everything would be much better off in my opinion if I did not possess fingers and instead just had palms: I would be more closely related to my other mammal brethren (bears and such),  I wouldn’t have to worry at night about the one percent of remaining bacteria left post hand sanitization, and I wouldn’t spend countless hours pondering the sum of my knuckles.

Appalling Fingernail Facts

    + Staphylococcus aureus, a disease found beneath the fingernail can cause nasty boils.
    + If you bite your nails, you likely are ingesting diarrhea and vomit particles.
    + Although unlikely, biting your nails may potentially result in an STI (oral herpes).
    + Biting your nails will eventually lead to dental damage: ground, chipped, and exposed teeth.
    + If the case is severe enough, the nails bitten away may never grow back.
    + Obviously, biting bacteria ridden fingernails will lead to foul smelling breath.
    + Biting/peeling the skin surrounding your fingernail can cause the exposed wound to become
            infected and potentially pus-filled.

   All information for this info-graph was found on Buzzfeed

 


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About

This is my first year on The Reflection’s staff, currently writing in the sports’ section.  Outside of school, I am an avid reader of environmental and political articles. Being always up for a debate or any chance to make my opinion hear, I enjoy writing opinion pieces.  An avid fan of the Mola Mola Sunfish, I wish to pursue a career in the marine biology field. I look forward to uncovering the truth surrounding all the dirty deeds that go on around here.

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